


Stop trying to make plaids happen!

by SiobhanMcG



Category: Holby City
Genre: A mediocre oneshit, Bad banter over plaids., F/F, I couldnt help myself tho, Me? Projecting? Likely., Once had some traditional stuff for reasons and I hated it, bad plaid comments, blooyd awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 13:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12960075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiobhanMcG/pseuds/SiobhanMcG
Summary: Basically just some semantics about plaids with some Berena thrown in. Not my best bit of writing, but I promised I'd upload my stories to AO3 :)Originally written for a prompt on Tumblr :)





	Stop trying to make plaids happen!

When Serena had heard Bernie mutter something about “Damn plaids” and “Bloody stereotypes” she had expected a lot of things, but definitely not this.  
It had all started with the fancy envelope that had landed on their doormat a few weeks ago addressed to one “Berenice Griselda Wolfe”. Bernie quickly stashed the letter away after mumbling something about her brothers’ awful sense of humour. Serena knew that Bernie’s brothers organised a yearly sibling-cousins-family-acquaintances get together with a different theme and matching dress code each year.

Judging from Bernie’s reaction when opening the letter, the time had finally come for some sibling banter about Bernie’s sexuality (now that it was no longer a sensitive subject). Part of Serena was slightly curious to see Bernie in a vest and plaid shirt, even if only because she normally abhorred them- together with all other stereotypes. A week before Bernie’s family weekend -Serena was already looking forward to a weekend of soaking in tubs with Shiraz - one of Bernie's brothers called, asking if Bernie was ready and had dry-cleaned her clothes yet. Serena said she didn't know, although she wondered if there was something she had missed about the care for flannel blouses. 

It was a few days later that the mystery unfolded, just as Serena was discussing the mystery of Bernie's family weekend with Raf at the nurse's station, Bernie stormed into AAU 20 minutes late holding a large dry cleaner's bag that she was trying - and failing - to hide behind. She instantly shot into the office to store the bag and went to change. Raf and Serena shot each other a curious glance, both wanting to know what was in the bag. When they entered the office it took them a while to find the bag, when they weren't sure whether they should open it. Both wanted to know what was in it, but were unwilling to explain to Bernie why they would be poking around in it when they. Judging from how Bernie had tried hiding it behind the coat rack, even having shoved some boxes in front of it, she did _not_ want it found. They could see Bernie eyeing they suspiciously from the ward as she was treating a patient. Unfortunately for Bernie and fortunately for Raf and Serena, Bernie was called in for an emergency on Keller not much later, giving Raf and Serena ample opportunity to sneak into the office and take a look at Bernie's mystery outfit. What they found baffled them both as they laid it out on the desk.

"Did you know Bernie was Scottish?" Raf asks unbelieving.

"Not a clue..." Serena says, still staring at the plaid skirt and sash, pressed white blouse and belt.

 Fletch walks into the office to see what they had gotten up to. "She doesn't sound Scottish." he adds, gaining him an eye-roll and an exasperated sigh from Serena and Raf.

 "Bernie said she grew up in Hampshire?"

 "Not exactly the peaks of the highlands no." Fletch comments.

 "No, it isn't." At that they all spin around; standing behind them - leaning against the doorframe - is Bernie, visibly annoyed.

 "No never said anything" Serena pouts, waving a hand at the clothes on the table.

 Bernie looks away. "You never asked..." she tries to dismiss Serena, but she isn'' having it. Serena gives Bernie a look telling her not to play this game.

"You didn't exactly volunteer the information when I asked where you were from darling."

Raf and Fletch shoot each other a warning look. They had been caught in the domestics AAU's dream team once and they had agreed that had been one time too much. Both of them also realised a second too late that both the way past the desk and the exit through the door were blocked by two rather dangerous surgeons. _Whoops._

"Right, we better get back to work."

"I think I have rounds to finish."

Both Raf and Fletch offer at the same time, before falling silent again as they realise their mistake.

Serena instantly knows what they are trying to do and shoots Bernie a quick mischievous wink, signalling her plan. Bernie answers with an almost invisible nod, game for whatever Serena is plotting.

"You could have just told me, but no- I have to find out by digging through your stuff?! I thought you _promised_ we'd talk to each other instead of bloody-"

Bernie catches onto Serena's theatricals and steps right in. "Well, maybe this is exactly why I didn't? Because you can't help _sneaking_ through my things regardless! Why would I even _bother_ talking to you if can't even respect my priva-"

If the two men would have been paying more attention, they might have recognised Serena's responding exclamation to be a bit over the top - especially with the accompanying arms being flung into the air. Instead, they exchange a look, part confusion part fear. They have experienced both women angry before, but never with each other - And the prospect of being stuck in this particular domestic wasn't exactly what either of them had had in mind when they had woken up this morning.

 Serena shoots Bernie a quick look, signaling her amusement at the deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression both men currently carry. At that Bernie relents and starts laughing, probably scaring half the ward with her loud honking. Serena soon follows suit with a cheeky smile as she gives Fletch and Raf a raised eyebrow, who now realise they've been had. Soon all four of them are laughing and in doing so attract a curious Morven who has been wondering where everyone who is supposed to be on the ward has buggered off to this time.

After the novelty and laughter has passed (and Bernie has been called over for the rather ‘demanding’ man in bed four) everyone makes to get back to work.

"You better take a quick photo to show us." Fletch whispers into Serena's ear on his way out.

"Maybe... But only if you'd be so kind to go take a look at the gentleman in bed four. Sooner rather than later please; if we leave him with Bernie he might leave worse than he came in and I don't have time to explain that to Hanssen. " She says before sending him on his way.

Later that night at home Serena manages to convince Bernie to show her, even if it takes some gentle coercion and the promise of a fancy dinner out. After half an hour worth of swearing coming from the bedroom, she is allowed in. Serena can see why her brothers have been more than entertained at the prospect of getting Bernie into this.

"What's the dress-code anyway?"

"Traditional." She huffs.

"For what it's worth, you look pretty hot in plaid..." Serena remarks as she admires Bernie, leaning against the dresser.

Bernie snorts. "I'd better, I didn't spend this much on it to _not_ look good in it."

"You know what they say about women in plaid darling." Serena drawls.

"Hmm...?"

"That they're likely to be lesbians."

Bernie laughs before she answers. "So what should we get you then? A partial plaid?"

Serena raises an eyebrow and smoothes her hands down Bernie's front. "A plaid-leopard print mix maybe?" Bernie chuckles before dropping a kiss on Serena's lips. "Although, technically it's tartan though." She continues.

"Oh, really?" Serena replies absentmindedly, not paying any attention to what Bernie is uttering is saying, but zoning in on her lips instead.

"All tartans are plaids, but not all plaids are tartans. The difference is in the stripes. In a tartan every horizontal stripe is duplicated on the vertical-" Bernie begins.

"Okay, okay- It's a tartan alright" Serena intermits and presses a finger to Bernie's lips to silence her, before closing in.

"Now shut up and kiss me."

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that wasn't great, but now it's saved somewhere :)


End file.
